The holidays often bring stress, especially for “Yes” people, people-pleasers, and conflict-avoiders. If you’re the go-to person for solving everyone else’s problems, this season might feel more overwhelming than joyful. But it doesn’t have to be that way!
If the idea of saying “No” or setting boundaries sounds daunting, you’re not alone. The good news is, with a little guidance and a sprinkle of self-care, you can shift the narrative and truly enjoy the holiday season.
Recognizing Holiday Stress as a People-Pleaser
Does this sound familiar? People turn to you at home or work because they know you’ll say “Yes.” While helping others can be fulfilling, it often leaves people-pleasers feeling drained and unappreciated. Add holiday obligations like shopping, decorating, and hosting, and your to-do list can spiral out of control.
The result? Exhaustion, resentment, and maybe even health issues. But you can flip the script by prioritizing yourself, starting this holiday season.
The Cost of People-Pleasing During the Holidays
People-pleasing may seem like the easiest way to keep the peace, but it’s a trap. When you constantly cater to others, you sacrifice your own happiness and health. Struggle and suffering become familiar companions.
What’s worse, this behavior often stems from seeking external validation. Instead of relying on others to determine your worth, it’s time to reconnect with your authentic self and focus on internal fulfillment.
A Heartfelt Exercise for Authentic Holiday Giving
This season, embrace giving from a place of love rather than obligation. Here’s a simple yet powerful exercise:
- Find a Quiet Space: Sit down in a peaceful spot, free from distractions.
- Breathe and Center Yourself: Close your eyes and take slow, deep breaths.
- Reflect on Your Authentic Self: Visualize an object or memory that honors your true self.
- Choose a Gift for Yourself: It could be a cherished memento, a token of self-love, or even a moment of rest.
By honoring yourself with a meaningful gift, you’ll rekindle the joy and authenticity that make the holidays truly special.
Introducing the “Three Sisters” of Self-Care
As my coach Nancy Levin emphasizes, there are three key elements to a fulfilling life:
- Self-Care: Prioritize your health and well-being.
- Self-Love: Shower yourself with compassion and kindness.
- Healthy Selfishness: Focus on what brings you joy and peace.
This holiday season, honor these “Three Sisters” by planning activities that nourish your mind, body, and spirit. Whether it’s a spa day, a weekend retreat, or simply saying “No” to a draining event, choose what feels right for you.
Finding Balance and Gratitude
The holidays are a time for gratitude, not obligation. Shift your focus to acts of kindness, both for yourself and others. Consider donating to causes close to your heart, like St. Jude’s Children’s Research Hospital or Make-A-Wish Foundation of Southern Nevada.
Remember, the season’s true purpose is connection and love—starting with yourself.
Self-Care and Support Resources
If holiday stress becomes overwhelming, know that help is available. Coaching is a great resource, but it’s not a substitute for professional therapy. If you or someone you know is struggling with thoughts of self-harm, please call 988 for immediate assistance.
You deserve to feel free from suffering and experience happiness—not just during the holidays, but every day.
Looking Ahead: Coaching for Your Authentic Life
Exciting new coaching programs will be available in 2025, designed to help you embrace your authentic truth and live your best life. In the meantime, schedule a FREE sample coaching call with me to start your journey toward a stress-free, joyful holiday season:
Closing Wishes for a Peaceful Season
Dear friends, as the holidays unfold:
- May the road rise up to meet you.
- May the wind be at your back.
- May the sun shine warm upon your face.
- May the rains fall soft upon your fields.
- And until we meet again, may God hold you in the palm of His hand.
With love and encouragement,
Coach Karyn
